Last day of the month

Here it is. Last day of the month. Seems like November just flew by.

Today I spent some time making some Christmas cards to send out. I normally don't send Christmas cards. In fact, I've NEVER sent Christmas cards. (Or is it holiday cards....I don't know anymore.)
Anyway, they are turning out really neat and I can't wait to send them.

Another thing I figured out today......... doing crafts keeps me busy enough that I nearly forget about eating or watching tv. That's a good thing, right?

I completely screwed the pooch on NaBloPoMo this year. I was almost there. Less than a week to go and I couldn't finish. Oh well, there's always next year.

Tomorrow, yawl!

One holiday down, two to go.......

I seriously want to get my house in shape, organized and uncluttered before Christmas and New Years rolls around.
I feel like if I get a jump on the cleaning and organizing before Spring comes, that putting our house on the market as soon as we can will happen sooner. So I'm going to be making this my goal for the rest of the year.

Thanksgiving came and went without a hitch.
The dinner at my sisters was fantastic. My BIL, Jamie, actually built a 24 foot long table in one day and we got everyone sat around it except for one. It was awesome to see everyone sitting at one table. But it was scary when half the table got up and came down to our end to get at the fixin's they didn't have at their end. I felt that at any minute, a plate of taters and gravy was going to be sliding down the back of my neck and shirt. I totally forgot to get a picture of the whole thing but I hear there are pictures out there and I will post one as soon as I get one.

Dinner at the inlaws had all the usual suspects present. Nothing major happening there except for the seemingly comatose men who couldn't see or hear anything except the football game.

It was good to see everyone. I see each of them here and there all the time but it's different when they are all together in one room. There were also many that were missed. Probably a good thing anyway since Jamie would have had to build the table 35 feet long and somehow I just don't think that would have worked.

This is the last day I have with my family for the long weekend and I am trying to make it stretch for as long as I can.
Nothing left to say except.....


Tomorrow, yawl!

Quotes from Steven Wright - Part 11

PART 11

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?"

I went to a 7-11 and asked for a 2x4 and a box of 3x5's. The clerk said, "ten-four."

I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, "Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours." He said, "Yes, but not in a row."

I love to go shopping. I love to freak out salespeople. They ask me if they can help me, and I say, "Have you got anything I'd like?" Then they ask me what size I need, and I say, "Extra medium."

I saw a small bottle of cologne and asked if it was for sale. She said, "It's free with purchase." I asked her if anyone bought anything today.

I met this wonderful girl at Macy's. She was buying clothes and I was putting Slinkies on the escalator.

There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators.

I bought my brother some gift-wrap for Christmas. I took it to the Gift Wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping.

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier...I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.

I couldn't find the remote control to the remote control.

I invented the cordless extension cord.

I saw a close friend of mine the other day... He said, "Stephen, why haven't you called me?" I said, "I can't call everyone I want. My new phone has no five on it." He said, "How long have you had it?" I said, "I don't know... my calendar has no sevens on it."

I plugged my phone in where the blender used to be. I called someone. They went "Aaaaahhhh..."

Today I dialed a wrong number... The other person said, "Hello?" and I said, "Hello, could I speak to Joey?"... They said, "Uh... I don't think so...he's only 2 months old." I said, "I'll wait."

My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.

I installed a skylight in my apartment...The people who live above me are furious!

All of the people in my building are insane. The guy above me designs synthetic hairballs for ceramic cats. The lady across the hall tried to rob a department store...with a pricing gun. She said, "Give me all of the money in the vault, or I'm marking down everything in the store."

In my house there's this light switch that doesn't do anything. Every so often I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Germany. She said, "Cut it out."

Doing a little work around the house. I put fake brick wallpaper over a real brick wall, just so I'd be the only one who knew. People come over and I'm gonna say, "Go ahead, touch it...it feels real."

In my house on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms above...so I never have to go upstairs.

One time the power went out in my house and I had to use the flash on my camera to see my way around. I made a sandwich and took fifty pictures of my face. The neighbors thought there was lightning in my house.

All the plants in my house are dead---I shot them last night. I was teasing them by watering them with ice cubes.

I have a microwave fireplace in my house...The other night I laid down in front of the fire for the evening in two minutes.

Winny and I lived in a house that ran on static electricity...If you wanted to run the blender, you had to rub balloons on your head. If you wanted to cook, you had to pull off a sweater real quick.

I bought a house, on a one-way dead-end road. I don't know how I got there.

Chuck Norris Jokes - Part 6

Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats. Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.

He, who lives by the sword, dies by the sword. He, who lives by Chuck Norris, dies by the roundhouse kick.

Chuck Norris can taste lies.

Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky.

Chuck Norris does, in fact, live in a round house.

When Chuck Norris works out on the Total Gym, the Total Gym feels like it's been raped.

Chuck Norris' first job was as a paperboy. There were no survivors.

To be or not to be? That is the question. The answer? Chuck Norris.

There are two types of people in the world... people that suck, and Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear.

70% of a human's weight is water. 70% of Chuck Norris' weight is his penis.

Chuck Norris uses 8'x10' sheets of plywood as toilet paper.

Chuck Norris eats steak for every single meal. Most times he forgets to kill the cow.

It is said that looking into Chuck Norris' eyes will reveal your future. Unfortunately, everybody's future is always the same: death by a roundhouse-kick to the face.

When you say "no one's perfect", Chuck Norris takes this as a personal insult.

Chuck Norris can win a game of Trivial Pursuit with one roll of the dice, and without answering a single question... just a nod of the head, and a stroke of the beard.

182,000 Americans die from Chuck Norris-related accidents every year.

Paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, but Chuck Norris beats all 3 at the same time.

If you're driving down the road and you think Chuck Norris just cut you off, you better thank your lucky stars it wasn't the other way around.

In the medical community, death is referred to as "Chuck Norris Disease".

Chuck Norris was once in a knife fight, and the knife lost.

The First rule of Chuck Norris is: you do not talk about Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.

Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant. The steak did what it was told.

Chuck Norris once ate four 10lb bowling balls without chewing.

Chuck Norris likes his coffee half and half: half coffee grounds, half wood-grain alcohol.

Ready For Another Round

I didn't quite get enough to eat yesterday at my sisters because I was battling a headache and all the excitement that a 25 foot table could bring. More on that later......

My husbands family dinner is tonight and I am ready for more turkey and sweet potatoes. YAY!


Tomorrow, yawl!

HAPPY TURKEY DAY!

I hope everyone's bellies are full, football is on and the dishes are done!

Thanks goodness for top buttons!

Happy Thanksgiving!

I'll Be Back...

That's all you get.
A couple of posts from Steven.

I'll post another set from Steven and Chuck tomorrow. And will be back in all my glory on Friday with a run-down of the festivities from the couple days before.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Tomorrow, yawl!

Quotes from Steven Wright - Part 10

PART 10

I put hardwood floors on top of wall-to-wall carpet.

Tinsel is really snakes' mirrors.

Two babies were born on the same day at the same hospital. They lay there and looked at each other. Their families came and took them away. Eighty years later, by a bizarre coincidence, they lay in the same hospital, on their deathbeds, next to each other. One of them looked at the other and said, "So. What did you think?"

My grandfather gave me a watch. It doesn't have any hands or numbers. He says it's very accurate. I asked him what time it was. You can guess what he told me.

I spent all my money on a FAX machine. Now I can only FAX collect.

What are imitation rhinestones?

If a word in the dictionary were mispelled, how would we know?

If God dropped acid, would he see people?

In my house there's this light switch that doesn't do anything. Every so often I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Madagascar. She said, "Cut it out."

It's a good thing we have gravity or else when birds died they'd just stay right up there. Hunters would be all confused.

I wrote a few children's books...not on purpose.

I wrote a song, but I can't read music so I don't know what it it. Every once in a while I'll be listening to the radio and I say, "I think I might have written that."

"So, do you live around here often?"

I got up one morning, couldn't find my socks, so I called Information. She said, "Hello, Information." I said, "I can't find my socks." She said, "They're behind the couch." And they were!

When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child....eventually.

[Referring to a glass of water:] I mixed this myself. Two parts H, one part O. I don't trust anybody!

A friend of mine once sent me a post card with a picture of the entire planet Earth taken from space. On the back it said, "Wish you were here."

I'm moving to Mars next week, so if you have any boxes...

Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.

I saw a bank that said "24 Hour Banking", but I don't have that much time.

I like to go to art museums and name the untitled paintings... Boy With Pail... Kitten On Fire.

I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time". So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.

I went to this restaurant last night that was set up like a big buffet in the shape of an Ouija board. You'd think about what kind of food you want, and the table would move across the floor to it.

I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything specifically.

Quotes from Steven Wright - Part 9

PART 9

Yesterday I found out what doughnuts are for. You put them on doughbolts. They hold dough airplanes together. For kids, they make erector sets out of play-dough.

I went to a haunted house, looked under the kitchen table, and found spirit gum.

I went to a garage sale. "How much for the garage?" "It's not for sale."

I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart.

I know the guy who writes all those bumper stickers. He hates New York.

A beautiful woman moved in next door. So I went over and returned a cup of sugar. "You didn't borrow this." "I will."

I had my coathangers spayed.

I washed a sock. Then I put it in the dryer. When I took it out, it was gone.

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing.

I went to a fancy french restaurant called "Deja Vu." The headwaiter said, "Don't I know you?"

Last week I forgot how to ride a bicycle.

I took lessons in bicycle riding. But I could only afford half of them. Now I can ride a unicycle.

I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out.

I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it.

I put my air conditioner in backwards. It got cold outside. The weatherman on TV was confused. "It was supposed to be hot today."

I was in a job interview and I opened a book and started reading. Then I said to the guy, "Let me ask you a question. If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light, and you turn on the headlights, does anything happen?" He said, "I don't know." I said, "I don't want your job."

I was in the first submarine. Instead of a periscope, they had a kaleidoscope. "We're surrounded."

I went camping and borrowed a circus tent by mistake. I didn't notice until I got it set up. People complained because they couldn't see the lake.

When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety.

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.

It's a fine night to have an evening.

Even snakes are afraid of snakes.

I can't stop thinking like this.

This isn't all true.

You know how it is when you're walking up the stairs, and you get to the top, and you think there's one more step? I'm like that all the time.

Avoided the Crowds

Well, I got it done.
No more shopping for the rest of the week. I got everything I needed today for the dishes I am preparing for the Thanksgiving dinner at my sisters on Thursday. I shouldn't need to go back to WalMart for the rest of the week.
It was a little crowded today but nothing like it was when I went on the evening before Thanksgiving last year. It was my own fault. I knew better but was dreading going. I put it off until the last minute and nearly paid the price for it. You would have thought there was going to be some knock-down, drag-out fights in some of the aisles. And if you had kids with you, like I did, you were just asking for it. I will never put that kind of shopping off until the last minute again.

So I'm done. If I don't have it here already, we don't need it.

Look for half-ass posts for the rest of the week. I have two dinners at two different house. One includes a lot of fun and games. I sure need it right now.

Tomorrow, yawl!

A Day of Frustrations

I am having a bad day. I woke up feeling okay but as the day goes on, more and more crap just keeps adding to my pile of frustrations.
I am frustrated about a number of things and sadly, I don't know if it's me or not, I can't figure out how to solve the problems.
I just want to scream. A real belly-busting primal scream at the top of my lungs. But I'm sure someone would call the cops on me.
I can't scream. I can't cry. All I can do is write about it.
I am frustrated at having to live my life based around other peoples schedules. I feel like I am in a constant state of waiting on someone, for something.
I am tired of waiting for DSL to become available in my area. %(*&#!@* AT&T!
I am tired of waiting to put our house up on the market and move out of this godforsaken tiny house and noisy neighborhood.
I am tired of waiting until my kids get older so I can do this, that and the other.
I am tired of people telling me one thing and doing another.
I am tired of being there for others but no one being there for me.
I am tired of people wanting me to do the things they want to do but not wanting to do the things I want to do.

I am sick of cleaning this house and as soon as I turn around, it is a disaster again.

*****

The Amish Friendship Cinnamon Bread I made yesterday was so good. I made my starters to give to friends. I even redid the instruction sheet so it was all nice and neat. The other one looked like it had made the rounds one too many times.
No one wants a starter. NO.ONE.
I feel good about making the bread because it is quite delicious but I don't have words to explain the looks, the comments and the lack of excitement from anyone about making their own. It was fun but I won't be doing anything like it in the future because this particular project felt like a waste of time since I couldn't share it afterwards. I am alone in trying anything just for the fun of it. I seriously don't know what is wrong with people. They are either too busy or think they are too busy to enjoy the simpler things in life anymore.

*****

I did a bit of uncluttering in the youngest ones toy box yesterday. I threw away a lot of pieces and parts that didn't go to anything. I cleaned out a bunch of toys that she no longer played with and that I was tired of picking up from the living room floor day after day.
In looking at what was left, I thought to myself that I should probably take a look at the Toy Recall list and see if any of the toys were on the list.
So this morning, I looked up the list and was immediately flustered with the whole notion of looking up the toys to see if any had been recalled. This list is the most ignorant thing I have ever seen. Not only is the list longer than the novel, War and Peace, it's not even categorized by toy or anything. The links to each recall page are so descriptive and not narrowed down to the basics, like name of toy and the company name.

Here are a few examples:
The Orvis Company Recalls Children's Toys Sold with Sleeping Bags Due to Choking Hazard
Fisher-Price Recalls Licensed Character Toys Due To Lead Poisoning Hazard
Risk of Explosion and Hearing Damage Prompts Recall of Remote Control Airplanes
New Easy-Bake Oven Recall Following Partial Finger Amputation; Consumers Urged to Return Toy Ovens
AAFES Expands Recall of "Soldier Bear" Toy Sets Due to Lead Poisoning Hazard
Serious Intestinal Injury Prompts Kipp Brothers Recall of Mag Stix Magnetic Building Sets
Infantino Recalls Children's Toy Castles Due to Choking Hazard
Target Recalls Toy Barbeque Grills Due to Laceration Hazard
RC2 Corp. Recalls Various Thomas & Friends™ Wooden Railway Toys Due to Lead Poisoning Hazard
Gemmy Industries Corp. Recalls Flashing Eyeball Toys Due to Chemical Hazard
Toy Drums Recalled by The Boyds Collection Ltd. Due to Lead Poisoning Hazard

Understand what I am saying?
Most of the toys I need to look up don't even say on them who they are made by. And since I am STILL ON DIALUP, when I do go look at a possible match, the pictures of the recalled toys take FOREEEVVEERRR to load. What a nightmare!
#*(&@*&@!% DIALUP!
I know I need to do this but it's going to take me all of next year to get through it. I'm left with no choice but to throw away all these toys, painstakingly go through this list or don't do it at all. ARGH!

*****

These things might seem minuscule to other people but for me, they are big things that really bother me.
I don't have anyone to talk to about them. I sit here all day, every day, and this is what I resort to focusing on. I can't help it.

It feels better to write it all out.

Amish Friendship Bread and Uncluttering

Today is a day of uncluttering. I always get this way around holiday time. We never have company over during the holidays because are house is so small, but I still feel like I need to super-clean and declutter the whole house anyway.
As I write this, I am taking a break from an attempt at uncluttering my house. We live in a teeny tiny house and I can never seem to get a hang of the "bring in one item, get rid of two" bit that HGTV preaches.
I haven't got far yet. I've spent most of the morning getting some groceries at WalMart, cleaning out a little of my bedroom and making Amish Cinnamon Friendship Bread. That's the bread that you mix in a ziploc for 10 days and at the end, measure out 4 "starters" to give to friends and make your two loaves of bread with the rest. I sure hope it turns out ok. It certainly smells good. It was a bit of work but hopefully it will be worth it. I'll post an update as soon as I get a taste of it.

UPDATE:The Amish Cinnamon Friendship Bread is soooo good! Way better than I expected. It really was worth 10 days of mushing and mushing. I actually can't wait to make more.

Big Norm Fish Scaler

Big Norm Fish Scaler

This scaler has 19 floating heads which lift off and catch scales.
This is the quick way to clean a fish.

I am going to buy this for the hubby. It's the least I can do since I nag at him for not wanting to keep all the perch that I catch because it's too hard to scale the smaller ones.
I like to keep all the small ones. You just cut off the heads, gut them, scale them and cook them whole. You get more fish for your worm cooking and eating them that way.
At least with this, the scaling part wouldn't be such a chore. I could even do it for him with this handy little gadget.

Let's Wabble!

Wabble is a version of Scrabble® that you can play right in your browser. No need to register, no software to download and no Java or Flash interfaces. You can start a new game or join a game already in progress.

It's real easy to play. Click a tile to select it. Click somewhere else to place it. Click 'Submit' when you have your word. Note that, until you click 'Submit', no one else can see the tiles you have placed on the board.

Wabble

Human-Pig Hybrid

This photo completely freaks me out! It's so life-like. The really scary part about it to me though is it looks like something that could possibly exist.



The human-like sow and her offspring are a sculpture entitled The Young Family by artist/sculptor Patricia Piccinini, shown as part of her We Are Family exhibition in 2003.

I think it looks more like a hairless dog than a pig.

U-Haul Box Exchange

Every little bit helps.

U-Haul Box Exchange

The U-Haul Box Exchange is a message board that you can use to trade, sell or buy reusable boxes and moving supplies. With every reuse of a box, a new box is prevented from entering the cycle.

I find it very impressive for U-Haul to be taking this approach and allowing customers this little space on their website to help the environment. Go U-Haul!

Top Ten Best Opening Lyrics

For some reason, I am really attracted to list posts. Top 10, Top 100, Top 5.....I like 'em all!

Here's another funny one I came across on Jason Rorhbloggers blog.

10. "Warden threw a party in the county jail"
-Elvis Presley "Jailhouse Rock"

9. "On a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair"
-Eagles "Hotel California"

8. "Sittin' in the morning sun, I'll be sittin' when the evening comes"
-Otis Redding "(Sittin' on) The Dock of the Bay"

7. "You shake my nerves and you rattle my brain"
-Jerry Lee Lewis "Great Balls of Fire"

6. "Just take those old records off the shelf"
-Bob Seger "Old Time Rock 'n' Roll"

5. "I guess I shoulda known by the way you parked your car sideways that it wouldn't last"
-Prince "Little Red Corvette"

4. "Jeremiah was a bullfrog!"
-Three Dog Night "Joy to the World"

3. "Gold coast slave ship bound for cotton fields, sold in a market down in New Orleans"
-Rolling Stones "Brown Sugar"

2. "Welcome to the jungle, we got fun 'n' games"
-Guns n' Roses "Welcome to the Jungle"

And the number one best opening lyric of all time...

1. "I like big butts and I cannot lie"
-Sir Mix-A-Lot "Baby Got Back"

And the alternates...

"Load up on guns, bring your friends"
-Nirvana "Smells Like Teen Spirit"

"One pill makes you larger, and one pill makes you small"
-Jefferson Airplane "White Rabbit"

"There's a lady who's sure all that glitters is gold"
-Led Zeppelin "Stairway to Heaven"

"If I leave here tomorrow, would you still remember me?"
-Lynryd Skynyrd "Free Bird"

"You know the day destroys the night, night divides the day"
-The Doors "Break on Through"

"When the sun comes up on a sleepy little town down around San Antone"
-Doobie Brothers "China Grove"

"I see trees of green, red roses too"
-Louis Armstrong "What a Wonderful World"

"She's a good girl, loves her mama, loves Jesus and America, too"
-Tom Petty "Free Fallin'"

"Busted flat in Baton Rouge, waiting for a train and I was feeling nearly as faded as my jeans"
-Janice Joplin "Me and Bobby McGee"

"Ground control to Major Tom"
-David Bowie "Major Tom"

VIA

The Bon Jovi Experience

Finally, here are the pics of my once-in-a-lifetime meeting with the members of the rock group, Bon Jovi. This was indeed one of the most nerve-wracking and awkward times of my life.

It was 1985 and we had tickets in hand to see Bon Jovi and Ratt in concert at Hammons Student Center in Springfield. Earlier in the day, my boyfriend and I were lounging around, getting geared up for that nights festivities, when on the radio, which I am sure was Rock99 at the time, the announcer only said a few words......Bon Jovi, Liberty Sound, and the time to be there. I didn't hear it but my boyfriend did. We hopped in the car and headed for Springfield. When we arrived at Liberty Sound, sure enough, we weren't the only ones to hear the blip on the radio. There were about 10 people already standing at the front door. We all stood in line for about an hour. Finally, they opened the doors and we were one of the first people in line at the counter where the autograph signing was going to take place. The store was filled to the brim with people by the time the back door opened and in walked the band.

I nearly fainted. I couldn't believe it when the whole band lined up behind the counter and were no more than two feet away from me. And OH.MY.GOD. were they gorgeous! Especially Jon.
By the time it was my turn to approach him for an autograph, I was shaking so hard and couldn't talk at all. He was asking my name and I couldn't tell him. I went all giggly and stupid. I hate when I do that.

Anyway, he's signing this little tiny piece of paper that I found and I finally got up the courage and the voice to ask him if I could touch him. He looked up at me, smiling and said, “Sure.” I reached out and touched his hand. In that instant, my courage bounded out of my body and I found my hand had a mind of its own and was now proceeding to touch Jon Bon Jovi all over his arm, across his shoulder and all over his chest! I don't know what come over me but I remember thinking, if you're going to touch him, TOUCH HIM GOOD! And I did! He was smiling and laughing and I was in a trance. He didn't seem to mind but I could tell he didn't expect it. I told him thanks and proceeded on down the line to the next band member, Alec John Such. Then Richie Sambora. Then David Bryan. And at the end of the line was Tico Torres. I hardly remember saying anything to them or even taking the pictures that I did take because I was fixated on watching Jon the whole time. Man, he was hot then and still is!

Looking back on all this, I remember thinking how ridiculous I used to think girls were acting when I would see them on TV completely freaking out to Elvis or the Beatles. I have to say now I can't blame them at all. I was thisclose to doing the same thing when I met Jon Bon Jovi. I can’t believe I acted like that.

It would be interesting to see, now that I am older, if I could control myself if I got the chance to meet Jon Bon Jovi again.

Somehow I doubt it.

The Commercialization of Holidays Is Out Of Control

I just read this today about Lowes Home Improvement Center. Things like this are just getting crazier and crazier.

A 2007 Lowe's holiday catalog advertised Christmas trees as "family trees."

Snopes says its true:

"In an effort to avoid the use of the term "Christmas tree," Lowe's has renamed their Christmas trees and are now calling them "Family trees."

In their Holiday 2007 catalog, containing 56 pages of Christmas gifts, Lowe's advertises hundreds of gift items, including scores of "Family trees." In fact, the word "Christmas" only appears two times in the entire holiday catalog. The ads mentioning "Christmas cover only 12 square inches of the 5236 square inches available."

Lowe's evidently did not want to offend any non-Christians, therefore they replaced "Christmas tree" with "Family tree."

Their Holiday 2007 catalog features scores of products, including lights, wreaths, trees, and yard decorations. Most people would associate these items with Christmas, but not Lowe's! Except for two obscure references, they refer to everything in their catalog as "holiday."

Here's what my mom had to say about it:
I get so worked up over this..... Christmas is what it is... a religious holiday (holyday) and if some don't like it then invent a different day to celebrate and call it National Spend Your Money Day! I spend a lot of money with Lowe's, but I'm going to contact them and let them know, that I'll be buying my CHRISTMAS decorations elsewhere and I hope that doesn't offend them!

Go Mom!

Man....I am so tired of this. Every year the arguments over religion and offending others get worse and worse. The problem I see with this whole Christmas tree thing is, if you don't celebrate Christmas, you don't buy a tree as decoration. So why do you care what others call it?
Maybe Lowes should consider selling Hanukkah menorahs and Kwanzaa kinaras instead of just decorations for those who celebrate Christmas. Maybe they already do, I dunno. Maybe Lowes should just stick to home improvement items and quit selling holiday decorations altogether.

You know, Festivus doesn't sound like such a bad idea after all. I've always said that the best part of the holidays for me is my family gathered for a meal and playing games afterwards. I could care less whether we divvy out presents or not.

You haven't heard of Festivus??
It's a non-denominational holiday featured on the Seinfeld show but now really celebrated in real life. It's an alternate holiday resurrected and modified to protest against the commercialization of Christmas. It's celebrated on Dec 23 and instead of Christmas trees, you have a Festivus Pole.
Sounds crazy but people really celebrate this holiday. And yes, I'm SERIOUS!

"Festivus for the rest of us!"

I think it would be fun!
In fact, I think I am going to suggest this to my family over the Thanksgiving holiday. We can still gather and eat but if you feel you have to bring a present for someone, make it something handmade, homemade or something you already own but can't use or don't want. Nothing store-bought.
We'll see how it goes.

Tomorrow, yawl!

Favorite Motivations

I don't remember where I got these. I've had them printed out and sitting on my desk for over a year now. I like looking at them every once in a while. They really pump me up. I hope they do the same for you.

Can't Never Did Anything.
The idea here is that you can be your own worst enemy when it comes to getting something done. If you say you can't do something, or think you can't, then very likely you won't. It's true--can't never did anything.

Another way I look at it is when someone else tells me I can't do something. That's pretty powerful motivation right there. While it's really good to have people have faith in you, it can really get you going when they don't.

Make Yourself.
In essence it's about not letting other people make you into something you don't want to be and taking responsibility for your own growth through life.

For me, it's often about taking responsibility for my own actions, my own life and getting things done myself. Oh, and hopefully doing them the right way. If you take responsibility for things, you can then influence them and hopefully get them right.

Acknowledge. Move On.
There are things in life you have little or no control over. With those things you acknowledge their existence, do what you can and move on with your life.

There's not much point in stressing over something that you can't influence or control.

No one ever excused his way to success.
I think most of us struggle with excuses. The truth is that if you're making excuses, you're probably not getting much done, and you might be making yourself look bad in the process.

Just Do It!
The way I see it, there are usually a million reasons not to do something. Most of them are bad.

Of course it depends on what you're doing. But in general, become a fan of living life and not watching it pass you by.

No deer.

The hunting crew just came back from up north and didn't even see a deer to shoot. Bummer.

Tomorrow, yawl!

**SMACKS FOREHEAD**

Sometimes I don't know what's wrong with my brain. I see things that other people have invented or found a simple solution for, smack myself on the forehead and think, "Why didn't I think of that!?" Sometimes the solution to a problem is so simple that I wonder if I am missing so many brain cells that I can't think at all.
This is one of those times. I don't know how many times that I've plugged my cellphone into the wall with the cord laying out across the kitchen counter seemingly in the way of everything and thought to myself, "I wish there was a better way to do this.".

Now there is!









It's called a Driinn.

From the website:

Driinn to the rescue! Charging a cell phone or PDA can be a messy experience. The device and tangled cord often rest precariously on a precipice - table, shelf, counter top, window sill - from which they could easily fall, or on the floor near an outlet, where they are vulnerable to getting stepped on. Designed in Holland, Driinn is named after the sound that the Dutch think a phone makes when it rings. Just wrap the charge cord around the holder; the Driinn hangs between the battery charger and the electric outlet. It provides a safe haven for your device to rest while charging and a convenient storage place for the charging cord. You’ll want one for every mobile device you have. Comes in Black, Lime Green and Red Orange.

Is that a stroke of pure genius or what!??! I think it's fantastic!
And even better than solving one of my most annoying pet peeves............it only costs $10!

I only wish I had thought of it first.

I must have one of these......or two.

Top Ten Worst Album Covers

I just love Mental Floss. Every once in a while they post something so funny that I just have to pass it along.

Todays post is about the Top Ten Worst Album Covers of All Time.

I don't know whether to feel sorry for these people or laugh. I seem to be doing more laughing. You'd have thought someone would have told them how silly their album cover looks before they sent it to print, but I guess no one did.
Enjoy!

10. Ken: By Request Only
I can assure you, Ken, we have only one request.

9. Something Special from Jeff
Poor Jeff looks like death warmed over, from his Herman Munster tan to that funeral director suit. I just hope the “something special” he’s got for us doesn’t involve that hook. (Or perhaps that’s his instrument. After all, Radiohead front man Thom Yorke played a prosthetic arm on his last solo album.)


8. Joyce
This 1983 album is self-titled, but serious Joyce fans know it as “The Red Album.” One choice cut from this LP is “I Get All Excited.”

7. Heino: Liebe Mutter
Keeping the rose theme going, German singer Heino was on his way to plant this rose bush when he stumbled into the photo studio.

6. Orleans: Waking and Dreaming
I’ve had the naked-at-school dream plenty of times. But naked at the photo shoot? Also, notice how the photographer arranged them not according to height, but beardedness.

5. Mike Terry Live At the Pavilion Theater, Glasgow: Volume 2
I can only imagine Mike Terry sounds a lot like he looks: like Elton John crossed with Liberace and fat, Vegas Elvis.

4. Freddie Gage: All My Friends Are Dead
Nicknamed the Underworld Preacher, Gage is a reformed drug addict from Texas. This is an album with a good heart: a sermon aimed at teens which tries to tell them the truth about drug abuse. With an album cover like this, though, I’m betting Gage didn’t sell a lot of copies to anyone, young or old.

3. At Play with the Playmates
Do their wives know about this? Good Lord — these guys look so natural on that bike! But seriously: this 50s vocal trio had a long career, and you can buy this album on Amazon right now.

2. David Ingles: Satan Has Been Paralyzed
(Satan’s not the only one.) Ingles claims his music can heal you, fix your marriage and make you rich.

1. Cody Matherson: Can I Borrow A Feelin’?
Cody had the great honor of having his album title stolen by the writers of The Simpsons: in the episode “A Milhouse Divided,” after Milhouse’s dad loses his marriage and hits rock bottom he records a terrible album called “Can I Borrow A Feeling?” Sounds like Matherson should borrow a lawyer.

Posts like this just crack me up!

Had enough? No? Go here for a list of the Top 100.

Top Ten Pornographic Images for Women

10.


9.

I don't have to have a reason to bring you flowers.

8.

Is that the baby? I'll get her.

7.

Ooh, look, the NFL playoffs are today. I'll bet we'll have no trouble parking at the crafts fair.

6.

I don't want anyone "falling in" in the middle of the night.

5.

I know. Let's take you shoe shopping!

4.

As long as I have legs to walk on, you'll never have to take out the garbage.

3.

I made some Niman Ranch lamb tenderloin with garlic, black pepper, and Indonesian soy sauce for dinner. I hope that sounds OK.

2.

I like to get these things before I have to be asked.

And the number one pornographic image for women...

1.

Hold that thought a second. I want to pull over and ask for directions.


LMBO!

Excuse me while I go take a cold shower.

via Jason Rorhblogger

Life happens.

Well, I failed.
For the most part, yesterday was a blur to me. After spending most of the day at my sisters house, I came home very lazy and lethargic. All I wanted to do was pass out on the couch and not wake up until this morning. But when you have kids, gone are the days of taking naps whenever you want. So I did the basics to keep everyone happy and fed but slunk back to my warm spot on the couch in between those times. By the time bedtime for the kiddies rolled around, I was very tired. I thought to myself, I'll just watch a few more minutes of tv, run in and make a quick blog post and then I'll head to bed. I was awakened by my husband at 2AM asking if I was going to come to bed.
Alas, life happens and I didn't make it through even a week of NaBloPoMo. I'm not giving up though. I still have most of the month left and I could use the motivation to post. I may be down but I'm not out.

My thought this morning as I was watching tv, How come you rarely see people in limousines wearing seat belts? Do they think they are immune to auto accidents just because they are cruising around in a car bigger than my house? I find that weird.

Blog, blah, blah

Sorry dear people. I just do not have it in me today.

I think that Mexican food yesterday did a number on me. My stomach has been churning and gurgling ever since last night and I feel kinda puny right now.

I'll blog a good one tomorrow.
Until then, I leave you in the company of my good buddies, Chuck and Steven.

Tomorrow, yawl!

Quotes from Steven Wright - Part 8

PART 8

I xeroxed my watch. Now I have time to spare.

I took a course in speed waiting. Now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes.

I eat swiss cheese. But I only nibble on it. I make the holes bigger.

I moved into an all-electric house. I forgot and left the porch light on all day. When I got home the front door wouldn't open.

I got a garage door opener. It can't close. Just open.

You know how it is when you go to be the subject of a psychology experiment, and nobody else shows up, and you think maybe that's part of the experiment? I'm like that all the time.

I went over to the neighbor's and asked to borrow a cup of salt. "What are you making?" "A salt lick."

There aren't enough days in the weekend.

My friend Sally is a nudist. I went to her house. The closets have no doors. The walls are covered with see-through wallpaper.

Sally plays strip poker. Whenever she loses, she has to put something on.

The sky is falling...no, I'm tipping over backwards.

Droughts are because God didn't pay his water bill.

Is "tired old cliche" one?

If you had a million Shakespeares, could they write like a monkey?

If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?

It only rains straight down. God doesn't do windows.

When I get bored I go to a Seven-Eleven and ask for a two-by-four and a box of three-by-fives.

The sign said "eight items or less". So I changed my name to Les.

Yesterday I saw a chicken crossing the road. I asked it why. It told me it was none of my business.

I rented a lottery ticket. I won a million dollars. But I had to give it back.

In school, every period ends with a bell. Every sentence ends with a period. Every crime ends with a sentence.

I xeroxed my watch. Now I can give away free watches.

I xeroxed a mirror. Now I have an extra xerox machine.

I took a course in speed reading. Then I got Reader's Digest on microfilm. By the time I got the machine set up, I was done.

Chuck Norris Jokes - Part 5

Q: How many Chuck Norris' does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, Chuck Norris prefers to kill in the dark.

As President Roosevelt said: "We have nothing to fear but fear itself. And Chuck Norris."

Chuck Norris does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people move.

Chuck Norris is the only person to ever win a staring contest against Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder at the same time.

Industrial logging isn't the cause of deforestation. Chuck Norris needs toothpicks.

Chuck Norris smells what the Rock is cooking... because the Rock is Chuck Norris' personal chef.

When God said, "let there be light", Chuck Norris said, "say 'please'."

Chuck Norris uses a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is not capable of hitting a target on the broad side of a barn. Every time he tries, the whole damn barn falls down.

Chuck Norris kills anyone that asks, "You want fries with that" because by now everyone should know that Chuck doesn't ever want fries with anything. Ever.

Sticks and stones may break your bones, but a Chuck Norris stare will liquefy your kidneys.

Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.

Chuck Norris's version of a "chocolate milkshake" is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.

If Chuck Norris round-house kicks you, you will die. If Chuck Norris' misses you with the round-house kick, the wind behind the kick will tear out your pancreas.

In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like the rest of us. The only difference is, then he kills people.

Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of 16….seconds.

The original title for “Alien vs. Predator” was “Alien and Predator vs. Chuck Norris”. The film was canceled shortly after going into pre-production. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.

For most people, home is where the heart is. For Chuck Norris, home is where he stores his collection of human skulls.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch; HE decides what time it is.

When Chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders.

Never look a gift Chuck Norris in the mouth, because he will bite your damn eyes off.

It's over.

Halloween and Kasey's birthday were the last things on the list to get done before I need to start gearing up for Thanksgiving and Christmas.
Halloween came and went and I got a little sigh of relief from that but not much because I still had a birthday to get ready for later in the week.
So we celebrated Kaseys birthday today instead of yesterday by taking her out of school early and going to eat at her favorite restaurant with cake and ice cream waiting for us when we got home. As soon as I sliced that last piece of cake, my body literally felt heavy from the burden of getting it all done and over with. Even 15 minutes after loading up on thick, creamy icing from the cake, I was ready for a nap. It was like a huge burden had been lifted off my shoulders and I need to recoup from it all before tackling the next big event. I can't wait to snuggle in my bed tonight and not have to worry if I forgot something or didn't do something.
I think she had a great time this last couple days. Among her other little presents, she FINALLY got the Heelies she'd been wanting so badly. I bought her an off-brand of the Dance, Dance Revolution game at Toys'R'Us and wasn't sure if she'd like it. Boy, was I wrong! She can't get enough of it. Being it's not the real DDR game, it's not as well made and kind of small for her. I'm going to try to get the real thing for her for Christmas if I can. She loves it and I love that she's getting some good exercise from it. I tried it and it even had me huffing and puffing after only one song.
Day 5 of NaBloPoMo and I'm still here. It's not as bad as I thought. The worst of it is trying to remember to post at least once a day. Sometimes I get on the computer and don't even remember that I need to post until I'm about ready to sign off. Anyway, so far, so good. Hopefully I'll have some better things to post about in the coming days. Right now, I'm pooped.

Where's my pillow?

Tomorrow, yawl!

Happy Birthday, Baby!

My biggest baby turned 9 years old today. Where has the time gone?

I took her to ToysR'Us this afternoon to spend the birthday money she got from her Grammy. I ended up spending another $40 on her birthday that I hadn't planned on spending. I hate that store. It gets me in the pocketbook every time.
I also let her open a small present this morning that I got her earlier and told her it was from her little sister.
Tomorrow, her father is staying home from work to take her to school. I think we are going to get her out of school early and go eat at Los Portales and then come back home for some cake, ice cream and a movie. She will like that. She doesn't know he's not going to work tomorrow, so she will be very surprised about him taking her to school. She loves when he does that.

I just can't believe she's 9 already. Time is just flying by. Makes me sad to see her getting so big so fast.















I love you baby girl! Happy Birthday!

Quotes from Steven Wright - Part 7

PART 7

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.

I made a chocolate cake with white chocolate. Then I took it to a potluck. I stood in line for some cake. They said, "Do you want white cake or chocolate cake?" I said, "yes".

My aunt gave me a walkie-talkie for my birthday. She says if I'm good, she'll give me the other one next year.

I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said, "What for?" I said, "I'm going to buy some sugar."

I eat swiss cheese from the inside out.

I had amnesia once or twice.

I bought a million lottery tickets. I won a dollar.

I got a chain letter by fax. It's very simple. You just fax a dollar bill to everybody on the list.

I plugged my phone in where the blender used to be. I called someone. They went "Aaaaahhhh..."

My friend Sam has one leg. I went to his house. I couldn't go up the stairs.

The sun never sets on the British Empire. But it rises every morning. The sky must get awfully crowded.

I brought a mirror to Lovers' Lane. I told everybody I'm Narcissus.

You know how it is when you decide to lie and say the check is in the mail, and then you remember it really is? I'm like that all the time.

How many people does it take to change a searchlight bulb?

I was in the grocery store. I saw a sign that said "pet supplies". So I did. Then I went outside and saw a sign that said "compact cars".

The sky already fell. Now what?

I wear my heart on my sleeve. I wear my liver on my pant leg.

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests.

If you can wave a fan, and you can wave a club, can you wave a fan club?

When I was in boy scouts, I slipped on the ice and hurt my ankle. A little old lady had to help me across the street.

If you write the word "monkey" a million times, do you start to think you're Shakespeare?

You know how it is when you're reading a book and falling asleep, you're reading, reading...and all of a sudden you notice your eyes are closed? I'm like that all the time.

Smoking cures weight problems...eventually...

I had fried octopus last night. You have to be really quiet when you eat it. Otherwise, it emits a cloud of black smoke and falls on the floor.

Yesterday I told a chicken to cross the road. It said, "what for?"

Chuck Norris Jokes - Part 4

Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

When Chuck Norris was a baby, he didn't suck his mother's breast. His mother served him whiskey, straight out of the bottle.

According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.

Chuck Norris once pulled out a single hair from his beard and skewered three men through the heart with it.

When the Boogeyman goes to bed he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris plays baseball he hits a homerun every time by roundhouse kicking the baseball. He then proceeds to f**k all the girls in the stadium with his beard.

Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom.

When Chuck Norris runs with scissors, other people get hurt.

If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.

If Chuck Norris were a calendar, every month would be named Chucktober, and every day he'd kick your ass.

Fear is not the only emotion Chuck Norris can smell. He can also detect hope, as in "I hope I don't get a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris."

Chuck Norris's show is called Walker: Texas Ranger, because Chuck Norris doesn't run.

Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.

The easiest way to determine Chuck Norris' age is to cut him in half and count the rings.

The Bible was originally titled "Chuck Norris and Friends"

Chuck Norris was what Willis was talkin' about.

Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

It is scientifically impossible for Chuck Norris to have had a mortal father. The most popular theory is that he went back in time and fathered himself.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.

Chuck Norris shot the sheriff, but he round house kicked the deputy.

Chuck Norris can judge a book by its cover.

Nothing can escape the gravity of a black hole, except for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris eats black holes. They taste like chicken.

Chuck Norris does not play the lottery. It doesn't have nearly enough balls.