Friday, September 28, 2007

Chuck Norris Jokes - Part 3

Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.

It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.

When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them.

Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

Chuck Norris CAN touch MC Hammer.

Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

Everybody loves Raymond. Except Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris’s penis is so big that it has a penis of its own and it is still bigger than yours.

Chuck Norris doesn’t consider it sex if the woman lives.

Pee Wee Herman got arrested for masturbating in public. The same day, Chuck Norris got an award for masturbating in public.

Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up; he's pushing the Earth down.

There is in fact an “I” in Norris, but there is no “team”… not even close.

Using his trademark roundhouse kick, Chuck Norris once made a field goal in RJ Stadium in Tampa Bay from the 50 yard line of Qualcomm stadium in San Diego.

Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave, because revenge is a dish best served cold.

Chuck Norris CAN slam a revolving door.

Superman once watched an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger. He then cried himself to sleep.

Chuck Norris doesn't step on toes. Chuck Norris steps on necks.

Chuck Norris does not "style" his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.

There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.

Chuck Norris did in fact, build Rome in a day.

Chuck Norris is the only person in the world that can actually email a roundhouse kick.


Anonymous said...

Chuck Norris IS my father

Sandy said...

What a co-inky-dink! He's my father too!

Small world.

Thanks for visiting my blog!

Anonymous said...

Chuck Norris is not bulletproof. Bullets are not stupid enough to hit Chuck Norris.

Henry Albers

Sandy said...

HA! That's a good one, Henry!

Anonymous said...

Have you seen this Chuck Norris Jokes site? Pretty good!

Anonymous said...

chuck norris does not sleep... he waits....

Anonymous said...

When Cuck Norris was born,he came out feet first and roundhouse kicked the doctor in the face.No one delivers Chuck Norris except Chuck Norris