Thursday, December 6, 2007

I Got No Soul

Read through this email forward I got from Uncle Doug and then I'll do a little "passive-aggressive" dissection for you.

The Budweiser Story

(not a joke)

This is TRUE!

How Budweiser handled those who laughed at those who died on the 11th of September, 2001...

Thought you might like to know what happened in a little town north of Bakersfield , California.

After you finish reading this, please forward this story on to others so that our nation and people
around the world will know about those who laughed when they found out about the tragic events in New York , Pennsylvania , and the Pentagon.

On September 11th,

A Budweiser employee was making a delivery

to a convenience store in a California town

named McFarland.

He knew of the tragedy that had occurred

in New York when he entered the business

to find the two Arabs, who owned the business, whooping and hollering to show their approval

and support of this treacherous attack.

The Budweiser employee went to his truck,

called his boss and told him

of the very upsetting event!

He didn't feel he could be in that store with those

horrible people. His boss asked him,

'Do you think you could go in there long enough

to pull every Budweiser product and item

our beverage company sells there?

We'll never deliver to them again.'

The employee walked in,

proceeded to pull every single product his

beverage company provided and left

with an incredible grin on his face.

He told them never to bother to call for

a delivery again.

Budweiser happens to be the beer of choice

for that community.

Just letting you know how Kern County

handled this situation.

And Now

The Rest Of The Story:

It seems that the Bud driver and the Pepsi man

are neighbors. Bud called Pepsi and told him.

Pepsi called his boss who told him to

pull all Pepsi products as well!!!

That would include Frito Lay, etc.

Furthermore, word spread and

all vendors followed suit! At last report,

the store was closed indefinitely.

Good old American

Passive-Aggressive A$$ Whoopin!

Pass this along, America needs to know

that we're all working together!

If you can read this.

Thank a teacher...

If you are reading it in English....


If you do not send this

you have no soul !!!!

First off, according to Snopes, (which I use religiously when something in an email forward sounds too good to be true), this whole story isn't true. Not even a little bit of it. Which I kind of thought myself once I read that Budweiser just happens to be the beer of choice in that community and that the Pepsi man lived right next door to the Budweiser man. Dead giveaways right there that something is fishy with this story. Too many co-inky-dinks.

The second problem I had with this email is that in between some of those lines of text were these cartoon-y, animated yet still cheesy graphics, depicting such scenes as a Budweiser beer being poured into a glass, an oblivious Gomer Pyle-looking soldier saluting into thin air, and a crystal teardrop-shaped framed rose dripping into what looks like a pool of blood.
I spared you those and didn't post them all here........ok, wait, you probably should see the rose one, it's so cheesy.

(Well, the blood puddle won't come out right but you get the idea.)

Who is making these awful graphics? More so, who are the friends and family of these people that are telling them it's "so pretty"? Liar, liar, pants on fire.

The third problem I have with this is the incorrigible use of grammar and punctuation throughout the whole story. Yet, I won't mention the specifics because I too have my own hangups about how I use punctuation sometimes. But I can say with confidence that I am not near as bad with it as what I saw in this story. Yeah buddy, I'll thank my teacher alright, but of course, I'll thank myself first for at least half-ass paying attention in class when she was teaching grammar and punctuation.

Fourth problem I have with this email is the fact that someone took a very horrendous event in the lives of Americans and made up a completely bogus story about it. Sure it was supposed to be an uplifting story, and even though so many people reading this email would think otherwise,
the fact is that none of it was true. That's just sick. What kind of person thinks it's okay to make up stories about things so terrible and so prejudiced against another culture? Nothing like a racist storyline to keep the memories vivid in our minds.

My final problem with this email forward is the very last line:
"If you do not send this
you have no soul !!!!"

WHAT?! Just WHO do you think you are?
How dare you threaten me, judge me, condemn me and basically predict the outcome of my life from here on out based upon whether or not I continue the vicious circle of forwarding stupid emails!

I have no soul if I don't send your crappy email forward to everyone in my address book? I have no soul if I choose not to forward to potentially thousands of people, your homemade novelette that doesn't even remotely have a grain of truth to it? I have no soul if I refuse to subject anyone else that I know and love the misery of looking at your "mad skillz" with a graphics editing program?

Then I guess I have no soul.

Note to all reading this:
Just for the record, my Uncle Doug did not produce the above email. He just forwarded it.

Note to Uncle Doug:
I love ya, but please stop the madness.

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