Thursday, April 19, 2007

My Most Embarassing Moment

You know, there are many times in my life that I have been embarassed but none compare to the time I am about to tell you about.

First off, a little background information. I don't need anyone to email me and tell me what a heathen I am or that I will go to hell for this or that. You do your thing, I'll do mine, k?

I have been married twice. The first time I got married, I was 21, not sure what I wanted, got married anyway, stayed married for 4 years and found out it wasn't him that I wanted. So we got divorced. The only good thing I can think about all that was the fact that we didn't have kids. For that, I am thankful. It was hard enough dragging myself through a divorce let alone a kid or two.
Anywho.......about a year after I divorced, I met my current husband, Bubba. For purposes of this story, let's just call him Bubba, cause that's really what we call him anyway. When Bubba and I first started dating, I lived by myself in a little house. Not long after we started dating, I asked to move back home with my mother to save on expenses. So I moved in with her in the back of the house in a bedroom that had its own door to the outside. I was 26 years old and I pretty much came and went as I pleased while I lived there. And I also brought Bubba home to stay over whenever I wanted. Yeah, my mom was cool like that.
So, at this point, Bubba and I had only been together a couple months. We were still in the "blinded by love" stages. Inseperable. Having fun. Very much in love. You know how new love is.....you do everything to impress. It goes on for months until you are completely comfortable with the person enough that you start doing things like blowing your nose or farting in their presence. We were in those stages. I wouldn't dare fart in front of him. I wouldn't even say that I had to go to the bathroom in front of him. To this day I still don't fart in front of him. Even after nearly 13 years together, I think he's only heard me do it maybe 5 times and those were all accidental. Yeah...I'm just not that type of girl to fart in front of anyone.
Ok....anyway....I am getting off track here.
One night Bubba came home with me. We slept in the same bed with my beloved min-pin dog, Spike. We wake the next morning and just lay there talking for a while. After a bit, we decide we better get up and go get something to eat. As I get up out of bed, Bubba says there is something on my face. I reach up and feel something just as he is coming closer to look at it. As soon as I touch it, I realize what it is. I am shocked, disgusted and completely fall over dead embarassed as Bubba zooms in on it with his fingers and proceeds to tell me he thinks it's a tick. He grabs ahold of it and pulls it off. Just like that. My first thought is, 'My gosh! How big is the damn thing?!?!' Bubba doesn't exactly have skinny fingers and has no fingernails to speak of. He fat-fingers everything. So it had to be big because he just so easily reached up and pulled it off. Oh sure...with my luck, it couldn't be just a tiny little seed tick or anything. It had to be huge. I was mortified! Absolutely mortified! A tick embedded into the side of my face! I am sure that is NOT the picture any man wants to see of his new girlfriend in the morning......with a huge dog tick hanging off the side of her face. Big enough even that he could just reach up and easily pick it off! Until he showed it to me, I tried to pretend I was in denial that it was even a tick. But there is was......a tick......stuck on my face.......and my new boyfriend just pulled it off. I've never heard of anyone having a tick stuck on their face. He hadn't either. I just couldn't look at him the rest of the day. I was absolutely humiliated about the whole thing.

It's something he giggles about every once in a while to this day. He tells me it was no big deal but to me it was. I still get mad when he brings it up and refuse to talk about it. But I think it's about time to start giggling about it too. So here's why I'm letting it all out for the whole world to see.
I have been embarassed plenty of times in my lifetime. I mean, I embarass myself on dang near a daily basis. I'm used to it by now. But I have never been able to get over this one. It was the worst thing ever................

.......to date.

3 comments:

Timincal said...

Hilarious!

Ron Knee's Rants and Raves said...

I once got pulled over for having a rear light out on my auto. Imagine the embarrassment!

I couldn't have known about it at the time and neither could you! Exactly like that tick.

Notyourfault.

Sandy said...

Aaawwwww....Ron Knee, that was sweet!
You made me feel better about putting my worst moment out there for all the world to see.
Thanks for the empathy.