Jokes!

From some new found friends I found on Gledwoods blog.

VIA Deb
AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE...
A gorgeous young redhead went into her doctor's office and reported that her body hurt where ever she touched it. "Impossible!" says the doctor, "Show me." The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left breast and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed, even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.

The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?".
"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so," said the doctor..."your finger is broken."

VIA Ruth
A woman went to the pet shop and immediately spotted a large beautiful parrot.
There was a sign on the cage, £5.00. "Why so little?" she asked the shopkeeper.
The parrot used to live in a brothel and when they got arrested, the police brought me the bird."

The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought, "that's not so bad."
When her two teenage daughters came home from school the bird saw them and said, "New house, new madam, new whores." The girls and the woman were a bit offended, but then began to laugh at the situation.

Moments later, the woman's husband, Keith came home from work.
The bird looked at him and said, "Hi Keith."