100 Things About Me: The Good, the Bad & the Ugly

1. I hate conflict. I usually avoid it at all costs. I can hold a lot of anger inside until I am pushed past my breaking point. But when I do get angry enough to speak out about it, I tend to break out into tears as I am ranting. I don't know why, but it feels like what I am saying is hurting the other persons feelings even when they deserve it and I start feeling guilty about the rant. I hate that about me.


2. I am highly intuitive of people. I use my gut instincts a lot and they are 99% correct. And I can tell a lot about a person by their body language. I love to watch people. If I had the time and the perfect place, I could make a day out of just watching people as they pass by. I don't like scary, unstable people though. When approached by someone that my gut tells me to get away from, I still have a hard time running away from them without being polite about it. I'm afraid if I'm discourteous to them, they will get mad and hurt me.


3. I love office supplies. New pens, pencils, notebooks, crayons, markers, erasers, copy paper, whatever. I want to touch it, smell it, own it. There is nothing like the feeling of carrying around a new notebook and pen. But I have a hard time using them because then they aren't new anymore. This does not coincide well with the habitual list making side of my personality.


4. I am a habitual list maker. I make lists for everything, even going so far as writing down that I need to take a shower in my daily routine list. I have my mothers wonderful organizational skills but I take some things to the extreme. This is one of those things. It doesn't stop there though. Look in my purse and you will find at least 4-5 old lists that I can't bring myself to throw away until I've completely used up all available space to write on the paper, front and back. The same goes for the small pile of miscellaneous paper in all shapes and sizes sitting next to my computer mouse. I have a hard time wasting paper. But when I do finally get around to throwing it away, I make sure it fits in my paper shredder. I love shredding paper. I shred anything that will go through the machine, even my mail. Then I toss it all in a small sinkhole in my backyard so the birds can make nests out of it. It's a great way to recycle all the credit card offers I receive every month.


5. I have a hard time focusing on just one subject at a time. If you could see my bookmark lists, you'd throw up. I'll never get through them all. Most I'll never visit again. But just in case, I have it bookmarked if I ever need it. If I didn't have a computer, this would not be a problem for me since I would not have any way except the library to gather as much information on things I am interested in. But with my computer, I research things to the point of information overload. I gather so much info on one subject that I could literally compile my own book on the subject. I have spent many a very late night gathering information on some of the craziest subjects only to never look at it again by the time morning rolls around. It still doesn't phase me though. I like the overload on certain subjects.


6. I want to be crafty. There are some really neat craft projects out there and I would love to try my hand at some of them. My drawback on being a crafty person is money. When I find a craft I would like to try, I either don't have the money at the time to buy the things to make it or I can't justify spending the money because it's an expensive project. Some crafts can get quite expensive, like scrapbooking. I like scrapbooking, mainly because of my love for all things paper. But the cost to finish a project like that is outrageous. And right now, I don't have the room for all the stuff I would need to do it properly. If it can't be organized like I want it, then I won't do it. I'll stick with cheaper crafts.


7. I have not found my mission in life. I am not really sure if I have one. There are a few things in life that are extremely important to me (my family, my health, etc.). I will stick with the important things until my dying breath. I call that my mission. I just live, take care of my husband and children, clean my house, and wait until it's my turn to die. I don't know what else I could do at this point.


8. I love animals and gardening. Unfortunately, I don't get much interaction with either anymore. If I had it my way, I would live on a completely self-sufficient farm with many animals for food and pets, a ginormous garden for food and to feed the animals, a well and a pond. Being able to go to the grocery store for nothing more than shampoo and toilet paper would be awesome. I think eventually I would learn how to make even those things myself. Right now, I'd be happy with just an aquarium and a few garden squares next to the house. But I can't even get that much.


9. I know how to change a tire by myself. In this day of womens rights, equality and all that jazz, things like that shouldn't be a surprise to most men or women. But it still is, so I am letting you in on one of my more shocking talents.


10. I would like to have at least one normal hobby. Photography, belly-dancing, softball, exercise, whatever. Just something to do that I really enjoy. I haven't found that hobby yet. I don't have the time, money or motivation to pick up something and do it on a regular basis right now anyway. And I hate doing things by myself. I gotta work on all that.


11. I have jealousy issues. I don't feel like going into much detail about it right now, I just am constantly aware that they are there.


12. After 24 nasty years, I quit smoking in April of 2005. It's been the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Self-control is not one of my strong points so I can't believe I've made it this far. But I am proud of myself. It gets tough at times. I am determined not to give in. I have heard too many times that parents that smoke have children that smoke and even though I only had one parent that smoked, as far as I've seen, that seems to ring true. I don't want my girls to smoke. I'm glad I quit if only it increases the chances of them not doing it later. Ok.....I obviously can't dwell on this subject too much because just writing about it brings on cravings.


13. I drink so much Mountain Dew, that it flows through my veins. If I gave blood and someone had my blood pumped into them, they would be in for a rude awakening. My husband says this is why I have gained so much weight. But honey, Mountain Dew is the least of my problems when it comes to why I've put on extra weight.


14. I had pneumonia in February 2006, 5 weeks after giving birth to my daughter. I have NEVER been so sick in my life. I was very scared when I was sick. When I think that I could have died from it, I get goosebumps and my stomach hurts. My husband, my sister and my mother were my lifesavers during that time. Without them, I couldn't have made it. I wouldn't wish pneumonia on my worst enemy. This is also when my obsession with germs took a major turn for the worst. More about that later.


15. I am quite undecisive when it comes to people asking questions like 'what is your favorite color' or 'what is your favorite movie'. I really, really have a hard time deciding on just one answer. When possible, I will put all my answers in the mix.....green, orange, yellow & Forrest Gump, Wizard of Oz, A Man in the Moon. I've rarely ever had to put just one answer.


16. I don't like lotion. I am not the type of person to step out of the shower and slather my body with all kinds of smelly lotions and oils. I really don't like the feel of lotion on anything other than my hands. And even that is kind of irksome to me. Lotion makes me feel like even the dust in the air is sticking to whatever I put the lotion on. I hate that feeling. I love smelly stuff but I prefer smelly shampoos, perfumes and soaps.


17. I hate false, redundant or idiotic advertising. Back when I was contemplating going to college, a career in advertising was a consideration of mine. I've always thought advertising would be a fun career. Just the design part, not the marketing part. I wouldn't do either now. Some companies must think the buying public are morons and can't see past their slimy tactics. For example, I was reading the bottle of "Flintstones Complete MultiVitamins". At the top, in big, bold letters it said NOW MORE COMPLETE WITH CHOLINE. Now, I ask you, how can anything be more complete than it already was? What have I been buying all this time, partially complete?? This does not make sense to me. This is just one example in a long line of advertising weirdness I have noticed. I'll talk more about the others when I remember them.


18. I am very thankful that I married a very stable, practical man. He's my rock and the voice of reason when I've lost all my marbles over something. It's hard to think you'll ever find a nice, normal person to love once you've been through a divorce. But I came through all that with smashing success.


19. I love 80's music. It's hard for me not to sing or dance when a good 80's tune comes on. I love to dance and sing. I don't do either very well. I can't hold a tune to save my life. I am so uncoordinated when I dance that every move I make looks like the Robot Dance. But that doesn't stop me from it. Sometimes you just gotta throw your hands up in the air and shake that groove thing the best you can!


20. I am a melancholy, yet happy person at the same time. It's hard for me to get excited about things. I have learned that life doesn't always turn out like you expected. And in my case, I've also learned not to get too excited about anything, because 9 out of 10 times it will turn sour and I will get very depressed about it. It's been like that for a while now. It's not anything that I am doing, it just seems to be my luck and how things turn out. I feel like just when I get one step forward, I end up taking two, sometimes three, steps back. Yet, at the same time, I really don't have anything to complain about. I'm healthy, my family is healthy, we have food on the table and a roof over our heads. That's important to me. It makes me happy. I should be smiling all the time but for some reason it's hard for me to do.


21. I love to travel. I haven't done much of it in my 38 years on this planet but I hope to travel more someday. The best part about traveling for me is coming home to my own bed. I love that feeling!


22. I know alot of useless trivia/gossip about Hollywood, pop culture and television. I keep up on many things through the use of my computer. I'm a wealth of information on the latest crazes and reality tv shows.

The only thing I don't keep up on is fashion. I am not a fashionable type gal at all. I like it that way. I'm simple and uncomplicated. I can't justify spending so much on clothes. And the part I hate most is it's a never-ending deal. You gotta buy clothes all the time. I hate clothes shopping. I may not be able to tell you what a celebrity was wearing to dinner but I can tell you where they ate it.


23. It drives me nuts to see a tick on an animal, especially dogs. As much as a tick on a person itches, it must be hell for dogs who have multiple ticks on them. It's so disgusting to me to pick them off, but I'll do it for my own dog. I can't bring myself to do it for someone elses dogs. So check your dogs and pick off the ticks before I come over to your house. I won't be able to quit staring at them until you do.


24. I can't stand passive-aggressive people. I also have little tolerance for shallow, inconsiderate and ignorant people. Some people walk through this life like there is no one else around them. Lately, I've noticed a lot of people driving in this manner. Why is it so hard for people to properly use a turn signal and do it consistently?


25. I have food issues. I don't eat chicken on the bone by picking it up and biting into it. I don't like watching other people do it either. It makes me cringe. I don't like getting grease on my hands. I don't eat ribs off the bone for this reason. I'm also the one that doesn't like any of my food to touch on my plate. Why does that drive me so crazy??


26. I have no business managing our bills. I actually hate doing it. But I do it better than my husband so I have to keep doing it. Argh!


27. Before I had kids, I felt I was somewhat of an introvert. I was always the quiet one that stood in the background and observed people and things. But after having kids, I feel I am the opposite. I do very well in groups. I have a natural tendency to know what to say to keep a conversation going. My only problem now is trying not to act stupid in front of other people which was very hard to do at my 20th class reunion recently.


28. I worry, worry, worry and worry some more, even when there's nothing to worry about. I get it from my grandmother. This drives my husband crazy. But like I said before, he's my voice of reason when I get this way. If it wasn't for him, I don't know what I would do sometimes.


29. I've been told that I snore. I've never heard it so I don't believe it's true.


30. I often commit to things I don't like to commit to, like school functions, clubs, organizations and volunteering. I'm a quitter in life when it comes to those types of things. I still do it but secretly wish I hadn't offered.


31. I love to camp. I'm a very outdoorsy person. Before I had kids, we used to camp in tents and cook over fires. Since I've had kids, we've slept in air-conditioned campers and cooked on stoves. I hate it that we're not as primitive about camping as we used to be. I feel like I'm cheating myself of the whole camping experience. It sure is nice to sit in the a/c and listen to the crickets at night though instead of sweating in a tent.


32. It irks me to no end to have to change the toilet paper roll, fill up ice trays or put in a new trash bag after someone has left them empty. You know who you are. Stop it.


33. I am the only person I know that can kiss my own elbow. Pretty cool, huh?


34. I am very irrational when I am tired. I am at my worst in the mornings. Not a morning person AT ALL. You could be as sweet as pie to me but I'd still rather rip your head off as to look at you. You think my staying up all hours of the night might have anything to do with that?


35. I am slowly working up the courage to complain when something is not the way I want it in the consumer setting. It used to be that I would just grin and bear it when my order was not correct or customer service wasn't up to snuff or I was charged the wrong price for something. I'm trying to change that. The price of ANYTHING has gotten so high lately that it just doesn't pay not to get your moneys worth anymore. Hopefully I don't ever get too bad about the complaining. I don't want to embarass my children.


36. I don't eat at McDonalds. I've not completely cut the ties to processed fast food altogether but I'm trying and I've made major cutbacks starting with McDonalds. Fast food sucks. It's not good for you or your kids, costs too much for what it is and I don't approve of most of the practices the companies use to do business. Not to mention how fed up I am of all the snot-nosed, acne-riddled 16 year olds getting my order wrong for the umpteenth time! They hand you 29 packets of ketchup and incorrectly count out 10 chicken mcnuggets in a box. This irks me nearly as much as companies that hire people with accents to do customer service over the phone.


37. I'll let you in on a little known secret of mine. I like to jump naked on the bed when we stay in motels.


38. I want to be more spontaneous and unpredictable. It's hard to do that when you're a homebody like me.


39. When I go to the bathroom, I don't like to spend a lot of time in there. My sister is completely opposite. She will play games or read magazines and books while in there. Not me. I'm a get in, do your business, get out kinda girl.


40. I love to watch movies. But not alone. I want my husband to be watching too so I don't have to explain it later.


41. I tend to over-analyze and over-explain things. I worry that I am not getting my point across or that people aren't listening to me. I say the same things several times just to make sure everyone knows what I am talking about. And even if I know you know it, I still have to say it anyway. It makes me feel better.


42. I don't like to shop at WalMart. But whaddya gonna do? I think this is the culprit for the pneumonia I caught back in February 2006. I wish they would start offering sanitary wipes at the door to wipe down the cart handles. It gives me chills down my spine every time I grab ahold of a shopping cart there. I'm pretty much like that anywhere now. Door handles, shopping carts, knobs....anything someone else has touched makes me nervous. Makes me twice as nervous when my kids touch them too.


43. I can't really kiss my elbow, but I bet you tried to kiss yours.


44. I love it when I get time to myself but not when it's given to me spontaneously. I want to know ahead of time when I am going to get time to myself so I can plan for it. Otherwise I am just going to be sitting there watching you do all the things I would normally do myself.


45. I don't really jump on the bed naked either but I am contemplating it the next time. I gotta try everything at least once.


46. A major pet peeve of mine is long ponytails on men. If your hair is long and you wear it down, that's different to me for some reason, but only if you keep it washed. (I don't like the greasy grundge look no matter what length your hair is.) But pull it back in a ponytail and I just don't like the looks of it at all. If you're a full-blooded Indian, a ponytail looks normal. If you're not an Indian, you just look weird. I notice this trend occurs more in men that consider themselves a hippy from the 60's or artists or scientific types. I don't care what you think you are, a long pony tail is just pointless and nasty. Some men wear short ponytails every once in a while, why....I have no idea, but I don't mind those so much. But a really long ponytail just looks awful. Besides, if you're going to keep it back in a ponytail all the time, why not just cut it off? If my husband ever wore his hair in a long ponytail, I think I would quit shaving my legs. I don't have to worry about that though. He's more inclined to go the opposite direction and shave all his hair off. If he does that, I'm going to have to take drastic measures......like get a tattoo or something. Heh!

And I won't even go into why anyone would want to wear dreadlocks.....the ultimate gross-out!


47. My favorite foods are crablegs and cheesecake. If I am ever on my deathbed and can't speak, please know that I would prefer my last meal to be just that. Just shove it all in as far as you can. And wash it down with a big jug of Mountain Dew. If you try to cheat me by serving me artifical crabmeat, Jello No-Bake Cheesecake and Mello Yello, I will come back to haunt you........in your bathroom.


48. Here's my plan if I ever win $1,000,000 in the lottery or in a reality tv show (yes, I would totally do it.) First, I would hire a limo and tell the driver the names and addresses of all the people I would like for him to pick up in the middle of the night. So if you ever have a limo driver come to your house in the middle of the night, please go with him, but ONLY if you see him driving a limo. I wouldn't want you to go anywhere with just anybody that says they are a limo driver. And if you don't see a limo pulling up in front of your house, well, then just stay in bed and I'll call you later. Ahem. Anyway. He is to take you all to a secret location where I'll be waiting with my new financial advisor, Jane Maloney.

Our first order of business will be to pay off everyones debts. I hate being in debt. It's one of those things in life that you rarely get a second chance. It's hard to start over and learn from your past mistakes once you're already in debt. Some debt takes years to pay off. It would be wonderful to start off with a clean slate.

Then, everyone will have the option of paying off their houses or buying a new one (new to you, not newly built). If you buy a new one, I get the proceeds from the sale of your old one. I used to think that I would just build all new houses for everyone but then I thought of how wasteful that would be since 1) you already have a house to live in or 2) there are plenty of decent houses already up for sale. Who needs to build a new one? Besides, I can already predict the headaches I would have of telling my grandpa that he can't have an Olympic size swimming pool or a built-in television on the ceiling of his bedroom.(Trust me, he would ask for it all.) Why not save some trees and resources and fix up the one you have or buy one that's already built? And to top it all off, every house, new or old, will be equipped with electric solar panels so we don't have to worry about an electric bill. The more money we save, the more money we get for other things.

Like new cars and trucks. Everyone gets one of each or you can opt to pay off the ones you already have. But if you opt for a new one, it has to be an electric or hybrid. We'll be saving money and saving the earth at the same time.

Then we are all going on a huge family vacation to a location of my choosing (I am buying afterall.) Most likely that would be Hawaii so we don't all have to wait on getting passports.

Once we came home, you would be on your own to start saving for your kids college or your retirement. How wonderful would that feel......to come home from a wonderful family vacation and be debt-free!

That's my dream anyway.


49. For the record, I am kind of a big deal.


50. I agree to do a lot of things that I don't want to do. Whenever someone asks me to do something, I rarely say no. I gotta work on changing that.


51. I'm a computer geek. Yes, I admit it. I love technology. I spend a lot of time on my computer. Not nearly as much as I used to or would like to but still enough to keep up with my geeky interests. I'll always be a nerd, I guess. Every day I am amazed at what can be accomplished with a computer. But the real kicker for me are cellphones. What a trip! I can be in the middle of nowhere and talk to my mom if I desire. That just blows me away. If I think back to when I was little, I would have never guessed that the day would come that we would be able to make a phone call without being indoors or at a payphone. Wow!


52. I *love* reality tv! Especially Survivor. Did you know that the first reality television show was "Cops"? I watched that show back when it first started and I still watch it to this day when I can catch it on. I love reality tv. I think this obsession goes right along with my fondness for people watching. I'll watch a reality show, even a bad one, any time over a scripted, fake laugh-track sitcom. Although, I do love that show, "My Name Is Earl". Now that's some funny stuff right there!


53. Diet plans are nothing more than excuses not to have to exercise. I have finally come to the conclusion that there is no diet plan, pill or liquid out there that is going to magically make me lose weight. There just isn't.

The only way I am going to lose weight is to eat right and exercise. I gained all this weight by eating crappy and sitting around on my butt. So the only logical solution is to do the opposite and start eating healthier and exercise. That's all there is to it. The least I could do is MOVE. I don't move. I sit around all day, every day, and do nothing that requires physical exertion. I stop whatever it is I am doing when I feel a sweat building up. I can't even remember the last time I had my heart rate up and pumping.

I've always loved the thought of exercising but never gave any thought to doing it until it was too late. Now I've gotten so heavy that I know that if I exercise, it is going to be twice as hard to do. I will sweat like a nasty pig. I will get tired quickly. And there's no getting past any of that. I'm just going to have to buckle down and do it. Sweating can't be all that bad, can it? At least I have the option of taking a shower after I'm done.

Why am I so afraid of sweating?

I've been doing some research and am going to set up some sort of exercise routine for myself. My motivation is in place....now, where did I put my gumption?

To be continued..........


54. You've heard the saying....... "Money can't buy you happiness."

Well, I've been thinking about that quote for some time now. I've decided that in my case, YES, money would buy me happiness. I mean, look at it this way,......I am sad when I don't have any money. I am sad when I can't pay the bills on time. I am sad when I have to tell my daughter that she can't have something.

No money = sadness.

Let's get real.....

How many happy, poor people do we see in this world? Not many.

How many sad, poor people? Lots.

I know if I had a lot of money, I would truly be happy. How could I not be?

Would I be happy to be able to pay the bills on time? Oh yeah!

Would I be happy to take a trip any time I wanted? Heck yes!

Would I be happy to be able to help others with my money? Most definitely!

Would I be happy to buy what I wanted, when I wanted? Absotively Posilutely!

David Geffen says that people that think that money would make them happy, don't have any. I'm not so sure about that. I think it has a lot to do with what you what intend to use your money for. A person could give 100% of themselves to every other aspect of their life if they didn't have to worry about the financial part of it. My situation is, I don't have any other quarrels or problems in my life except my lack of money. Even if I did, my life would still be much more comfortable with money than without.

This quote by Spike Milligan brings me comfort:

"Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery."

Sometimes I think I'd settle for pleasant misery rather than impoverished hopes and dreams.


On a side note:

Isn't it weird that salt used to be worth more than gold? People used to be paid in salt, like money. Wars were fought over salt. Slaves were traded for salt. Salt was a hot commodity because it preserved food and improved its taste. Salt wasn't easy to get back then. Now that we have all we need, we aren't supposed to use it in abundance. Go without it completely and you would die. I just think that's weird.


55. One of these days when I get rich and famous, I'm going to build myself a house. Now I don't need a fancy 12 bedroom, 4 bath mansion. Heck, who would want to clean all that? Hiring a maid would be out of the question because no one cleans things the way I like them cleaned. I would gladly get by with a modest 4-5 bedroom, 1 ½-2 bathroom house.

But this wouldn't be just any old house. I would like to have a two-story underground house. Complete with a biomass (corn-burning) stove, solar panels for electricity and skylights in every room possible. I used to think that underground houses were corny. For one, they look silly with a white picket fence around them. But for the purposes of excellent protection against such things as tornadoes, high winds or nearly anything else Mother Nature can throw at you, I think living in a "earth" home would be worth it. Less maintenance, less chance of fire, lower insurance premiums, natural sound-proofing. PLUS - I really dig the fact that it's possible to grow a garden on top of your house! That could be pretty if done right. Just for these facts alone, who wouldn't want to live in an underground home? Sounds good to me.

But would be the drawbacks, if any?

Well, I've read about condensation being a problem with an improperly insulated underground home. Condensation leads to mold and mildew which leads to illnesses and sometimes death. That could be a real mess. But make this a top priority when building the house and it becomes not a worry.

That's about all I can find at the moment. I may come back to this and add more when I do some more research.


More later...........